by: Eric Ariel L. Salas

I consider myself as one of those individuals who finds pleasure living alone.  Apart from perhaps my dog, which is very undemanding, I am one guy who loves the fruit and the liberty of having no one to attend to in my life.

Same late TV program each night, stillness when I want it, breathing space that is purely mine, the same location of my book at 8:00 PM as it was there when I left in the morning. All these and a couple of dozens more are splendid things to me.

Aloneness allows my artistic self to surface: obtaining more academic degrees, writing more articles, discovering uncharted places of my own world. It occurred that I had already thought more than I could count that I would never surrender the sugary and harmless comfort of existing alone.

However these days I am again dipping my toes into the relationship puddle after a significant lapse of solitude.    In this lovey-dovey reality I may not be a veteran.  But the rather short stages of relationships I was engaged in had made me acutely aware of what I wanted to happen in a world I had never existed so well.

I never made a genuine plan of finding her. It began as a nippy thought, an idea of the probability that I might stumble upon someone somewhere down the road.  Feeble as that appears, it was sufficient of a step to initiate the voyage.  Whatever I did, each movement simply rocketed towards her.  The circumstances were amazing.  Her friends were mine too; shes razor-sharp and likes stuffs I also yen for.  Beauty-wise, she's a Cinderella day in and day out. Though I was not certain when or where the roads would finally meet, I was very assured she was going to arrive at a time when I could feel my heart jumping purposely to let her in.

Therefore it began for us both.  From that moment onwards, she has confirmed over and over that she is the one I long for: the woman who understands me entirely as who I am, who supports my beliefs and builds challenges along the way that permit me to expand my perspective; the woman who helps me believe and support the person that she is in times our viewpoints completely disagree; the woman whose patience goes beyond words; the woman who looks for me to reveal her high and low for the day; and the woman who loves me sincerely, like crazy, very much, and is capable to carry with elegance and wit the stubborn being that I can sometimes become.  With pride, she is all that and more.

I would be a big liar if I would declare that our relationship is a perfect picture of two perfect lovers.  The process isn't painless at all, I admit.  In fact, many a times it was rather messy, and I often thought during heavy moments the relationship would not last a day. But it has.

I fully understand that to actually take care of the relationship is to take delicate care of ourselves first, and that anything less would be devastating. To my delight, the result: a communication that is firmer, compassion that is hotter, and commitment that is greater.

The challenge I am left to face for now is how I would balance what I believe to be essential in a relationship and hold true to myself those that are real.  I know the answer is all a part of the long journey; a journey that if I love and trust and love and trust more, will not disappoint me.  I may be quite satisfied and delighted just being alone but it delights me more knowing this relationship has truly been an amazing road so far.  And true satisfaction and happiness is knowing that it will never end.

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